Originally published in this week’s TriCityNews! If you live in Monmouth or Ocean County, NJ…pick up a copy!
Of course, anyone who believes they can claim their “passion for the country” drove them to have sex with someone other than their spouse – and then condemn someone else for “pious baloney” – is either incognizant or stupid.
Newt Gingrich may be both.
Then again, we live for pious baloney - it’s like our fuel. Dating games, beauty pageants, presidential elections - we want to hear the greatest bullshit our citizens can think up.
Without pious baloney, there would be no Republican presidential candidates. The debates would consist of 90 minutes of dead silence. The GOP candidates, including Newt Gingrich, do not just engage in pious baloney - they are the national distributors of it.
In fact, were there no pious baloney, there would be no presidential candidates at all…nor would there be American politics as we have come to know it.
Consider that this crop of GOP presidential candidates consists of a con artist, two Jesus freaks, two Mormons and an elf who wants to go back to the gold standard…none of them sincere and none of them opposed to stating the patently untrue.
If Michele Bachmann could go as far as to perpetuate a woman’s unproven claim that her daughter was rendered mentally retarded by a vaccine on national television, and then continue on the campaign trail for months, why should any candidate believe that they will face consequences for misrepresenting themselves? At least Bachmann knew when to call it quits.
The GOP would-be-nominees are betting on the general stupidity of the public and a media who no longer believes it has a job. And hey, why shouldn’t they?
As noted by Gingrich, Mitt Romney - the one who looks like something you buy in a gift shop - likes to pretend that he has not been attempting - and mostly failing - to hold public office since 1994.
Ron Paul, who I’m pretty sure you could use to crack walnuts, embraces “personal freedom” and identifies as a constitutional conservative…except for when he’s currying favor with evangelicals, at which point he likes to claim that no Founding Father suggested there be a separation of church and state. I guess he views Thomas Jefferson as a Founding Uncle.
Jon Huntsman, who may or may not be a robot sent here to make Karl Rove’s head explode, has run on being the outsider - the one not like those other Republican candidates. He has proven this by changing his positions on global warming and the assault weapons ban to appease Right Wingers.
Rick Santorum, the evangelical darling who I don’t even need to mock, believes America should follow the teachings of Jesus Christ, like this one: “I don’t want to make black people’s lives better by giving them somebody else’s money” - yes, I believe I heard that in the New Testament.
Buddy Roemer - it’s okay, you’re not supposed to know he’s running for President - has, thus far, run a single issue campaign. That issue is reforming campaign finance and ending corruption in Washington. Roemer’s day job? Bank executive.
Rick Perry, the Texas governor who prayed for rain during this summer’s drought…the result of which was Texas igniting in flames, has more or less run on the platform that, unlike President Obama, he would be a “real leader.” Indeed, he is such a leader that he can’t even remember which government agencies he hates so much that he wants to abolish.
By stating “drop the pious baloney”, Gingrich has both called to mind Paul Krugman’s assessment of him as a “stupid person’s idea of what a smart person sounds like” and proven, unequivocally, that he does not merely lack self-awareness, he is devoid of any insight into the American spirit.